Well, that was a long break. But sometimes life jumps up and demands some stoppage time. So let’s get us all up to speed.
1 – I am back in Indiana. That means I am back to training with my Search and Rescue team, which is great. It also means I am away from my family and friends in Florida, which sucks. And away from my daughter, which i awful. There are many positives to focus on, which I am trying to do. But I am not always super successful.
2 – Nutrition and training. I am currently on a fat loss template from Renaissance Periodization. It has helped reteach me about the value of carbs and, yes, even sugar at times! I entered a Transformation Challenge to that end. It has taught me some mental toughness and grit. I am beginning to see real body recomposition and it is awesome. No eliminating entire groups of macronutrients. Just learning to fuel properly while still holing on to the principles that I believe in.
As for training…I still enjoy flipping and beating tires. I have added heavy caries again and throwing a heavy tire overhead. I am working Wendler 5/3/1 Boring But Big templates and adjusting assistance work to try and eliminate weaknesses. It’s been nice getting back to basics.
3 – Mental. I have gone through the last few months feeling like there is a hollow spot. It feels like no one really gets me and, honestly, the pain inflicted through training is what gives me a sense of knowing and peace. There is just an odd part in there that I cannot figure out. Some missing piece. It’s a tough thing to feel like no one really gets you. But we will simply work through it, stay mindful, and figure out what that space is for.
4 – Education. I am still reading constantly. Finding positivity, education about the role of food in our lives. I am also attending University of the People. It is a tuition-free but accredited online university. It is legit! I am looking for a 2 year degree for now in Business and we will go from there. It will be useful when I open my gym someday.
Other than that? I am just trying to enjoy what is around me. My team, my kids, my training, and my friends. I continually try and push outside my comfort zone and will never stop doing that.
To tell the truth, I have been hurt by people very close to me. And that’s the thing…life does that. We will all be hurt sooner or later. People are human and they will let you down. But as Stoicism teaches us, it can only cause harm if you allow it. You don’t know their demons either. You and only you are in control of how you react to such things. You cannot control them, but you can control your reaction. You can control the way outside stimuli effect you. You can use that the same as you would use a cold shower or hard training. As a chance to practice getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. And if the same people hurt you twice, it is only because you have allowed it.
I have been hurt by old friends, found new friends to love, trusted immediately, loved completely, and challenged myself constantly. But I am still far from ever becoming ugly. Except to those that don’t get it.
My life is not perfect. But it is helping me learn and grow and it’s full of love. So I guess that is something 🙂